James Webb Telescope Passes 9th Deployment Stage - Didn't Think It'd Get This Far, Getting Nervous

I remember the first time I spoke publicly. It was a presentation for a Spanish class on Bogota, Colombia, and I was crazy nervous. 15 years later, it still haunts me, so it's no wonder that the James Webb Telescope is starting to get anxious too.

The Telescope famously started on a 1b dollar budget and was rolled out 14 years late when engineers quickly ran against the budget wall. Can you imagine being created, and being deployed 14 years after you were supposed to be? I would be so terrified. The thought of those NASA engineers slapdash sticking random microwave parts onto me to justify the increased budget makes me shake in my boots. Well, it finally happened, and James Webb has passed the 9th deployment stage.

Many were nervous about reaching this stage as it was one of the most likely single points of failure in the full voyage of the telescope. However, when Redditor u/faxjohn1332ac3 commented "Good deployments, nominal temperatures, so far so good', there was an audible sigh of relief in mission control. But no relief was greater than the relief felt by the James Webb Telescope, who really thought it would have been smashed to infinitely small pieces on a passing asteroid by now.

The suspense is killing the James Webb Telescope, and it personally feels that it's just a matter of time before something goes terribly wrong, and every passed checkpoint just makes the waiting worse.

However, all of these insurmountable fears are still rendered null against the one overwhelming anxiety that the James Webb Telescope simply can't stop replaying in its head. This was instilled when, one night, the chief of engineering for NASA crept into James Webb's warehouse with a female intern and they had sex on top of the telescope. During the intercourse, Webb reported hearing that the chief was 'going to launch this bad boy millions of miles to get the best shot possible of [his] cock and balls'.

The deepest, most profoundly terrible future awaits James Webb if its mission is a success, so I can't fault it at all for thinking so much about being blown to smithereens in transit.